Whartson Hall recordings
"Because frankly you don't need an intense storytelling system... for knob gags."
Discussion forum at tekeli-li.
Music is by Kevin McLeod at incompetech.com unless otherwise credited.
Index of games:
- 1: Introductions: The crew gets together for the first time, and we discover our mission.
- 2: Space Accountants: This is Traveller, after all, and you don't go freebooting across the spacelanes without working the purchase and resale price modifiers.
- 3: Save Your Love: We pillage an innocent merchant ship, and deploy our devastating terror weapon.
- 4: Death Cult World: What could go wrong?
- 5: A Fishing Expedition: On to sunny Torpol, recreation world to the gentry (or Space Wigan).
- 6: A Small Misunderstanding: Running from the law, to a runner-up in the All-Imperium Most Boring Star System Competition three years running.
- 7: Sticky and Burny: Our heroes venture aboard a deserted space station. Deserted. Right.
- 8: More Yellowish-Brown: We take a short side trip to Borite, home of, well, Borite.
- 9: A Back Street, But Still Semi Upper Class, Cybernetics Parlour: We make it to the pirate world of Theev, and start our enquiries. Oddly, this involves a seedy space bar.
- 10: You'll Never Get Past The Nando's: In spite of our Overconfidence and Impulsiveness, we actually make some progress with our mission.
- 11: The Fumbling Man in the Turny Chair: Coming back after a break, we suddenly seem to have got dangerously competent.
- 12: In Bed with Roger: We finally take on the dreaded Ferrik Redthane. Who will live? Who will die? Who will get the best footage for the newsreels?
- 0: Character Generation: 42 years of history in a little over an hour - and our brave heroes start to take shape.
- 1: 485 a - The Bear and Bandit Hunt: The squires are sent to deal with a "man-eating bear", and meet more than they bargained for.
- 2: 485 b - The Battle of Mearcred Creek: The new-made knights join Uther's forces in fighting the Saxons. Well, it could have gone worse.
- 3: 486 - Sword Lake: The knights are kept back from fighting Saxons, and ride the bounds of Salisbury. Merlin makes everything more complicated.
- 4: 487 a - Lindsey Embassy: The knights go on an embassy with the King, and nobody dies in spite of their best efforts.
- 5: 487 b - Malahaut Embassy: On to Eburacum! What is it about turning up to visit, the people you came to see always seem to be out...
- 6: 488 - To Frankland: The knights cross the British Sea as part of Madoc's army, and find out the other reason why he's called a bastard.
- 7: 489 - Excalibur's Peace: The knights travel to Devon in hope of a battle... and don't get the one they expect.
- 8: 490 - Battle of Lindsey: After more winter tragedy and dead horses, the knights enter their biggest battle yet... and try for a king's ransom.
- 9: 490-491 - King's Progress and Tintagel: The aftermath of Lindsey, and gross breaches of hospitality lead to bad ends.
- 10: 492 - Three Weddings and a Kidnapping: On garrison duty in Tintagel over winter, and then things get strange.
- 11: 492 - Tried for Treason: Is it a plot? Of COURSE it's a plot. But how will our heroes get out of it?
- 12: 493 - Embassy to Eburacum: Riding attendance on their earl, the knights encounter an old ally, and show him proper hospitality.
- 13: 494 a - Embassy to Estregales: Last winter's shadow hangs heavy as our heroes head into the barbarian lands past Cardiff.
- 14: 494 b - Embassy Awry: With one knight melancholic, the knights come up against base treachery... and smite it.
- 15: 495 - The Battle of St Albans and the Infamous Feast: A highly glorious battle for these veteran knights. But it's the after party that gets you.
- 1: A Scientific Demonstration: The team of seasoned investigators spends some time avoiding the plot, but is finally drawn in... to Barrow in Furness. Music by Kevin MacLeod at incompetech.com.
- 2: An Inquest and a Sentry: Stymied from gathering information by our vow never to follow obvious clues, we attend an inquest and chase an old rumour.
- 3: Into the Pit: Boldly investigating, we find that others have been here before us. And are still here.
- 4: HMS Selene: As Cthalloweenulhu turns into Cthismulhu, we finally start getting into the sanity-losing part of the adventure.
- 5: Under the Pyramid: Into the unknown... no, no, the even more unknown.
- 6: The Terrible Egg: Bzz bz bz bzzzzz bz bz bz bzzzz!
- 1: Truth and Justice Session 01: A man harnessing the powers of ancient Egyptian gods, a woman using nano-technology to enhance plant life and a circus performer ninety years out of his own time join forces (more or less) to fight crime and destroy a large portion of central Manchester.
- 2: Truth and Justice Part 02: Weasel and Martin explore the boundaries of Thoth's power. Jon considers Buck Bailey's future. Sara investigates any chocolate Martin forgot to hide
- 3: Truth and Justice Part 3: The return of Steel Klaus, the astonishing revelation of Professor Carter's private life and Mr Biceps meets The Press!
- 4: Truth and Justice Session 4: More exciting and mildly crazy action from the Truth and Justice crew!
- 5: Truth and Justice Session 5: Impacting on the Surface: An all-action space adventure with a fiery cliffhanger ending, followed by some discussion of the game
- 6: Truth and Justice Crossover Special: The Super Punks join our regualr heroes for a super heroic smackdown spectacular!
- 1: Pirates of the Spanish Maine Session 1: A session of character creation resulting in our scurvy crew of salty seamen:
Martin: The GM.
The Lovely Emma: Lady Agatha Quimberry, aka "Bob," a girl disguised as a boy.
Zoe: Old Jackson, the saltiest of old salts. In an intriguing move for audio, he's mute.
John (Weasel): Maya, a voodoo priestess. Or ninja.
Sara: Lord Gloucester, the man with no other names.
Jon: Lord Vivian Spatchcock Campion Lavender, "The Gay Buccaneer."
Ross: Captain Cyril Marmaduke Seabeast, our delusional skipper.
- 2: Pirates of the Spanish Maine Session 2: Captain Cyril Seabeast and his scurvy dogs actually get on board a ship this week, in the guise of The Elusive Booby. Doubts are voiced about Seabeast's seafaring credentials and within twenty minutes of securing the ship there is talk of mutiny. All this and a voodoo priestess with a urine fixation.
- 3: Pirates of the Spanish Maine Session 3: Time for more one liners of dubious origin as Captain Seabeast and crew continue their adventures
- 4: Pirates of the Spanish Maine Session 4: Avast behind! More fun with the Seabeast!
- 5: Pirates of the Spanish Maine Session 5: More sea shanties and bawdy tales with the Seabeast and crew!
- 6: Pirates of the Spanish Maine Session 6: More bad accents and swashbuckling from the Whartson Hall crew
- 7: Pirates of the Spanish Maine Session 7: The crew come perilously close to colliding with some plot, but Captain Seabeast manages to navigate away from it
- 8: Pirates of the Spanish Maine Session 8: Tonight We're Gonna Party Like It's 1799. Lavender in danger! Seabeast in tight trousers! The GM in hysterics! This one has it all.
- 9: Pirates of the Spanish Maine Session 9: Lavender Remembers. A narrative finale to the Pirates game following some unfortunate technical issues. Still brilliant though!
- 1: Murder Penis: One year later, the surviving investigators are getting on with their lives, when an old flame calls up with a confused story of madness and, well, more madness.
- 2: Death Chicken: All we have to do is guard two people. How hard can it be?
- 3: Stiffarium: Complications, and we wonder what to do next. Fortunately, the police have that worked out for us.
- 4: Now That You've Got a Door, Perhaps You Can Lock It: Someone has a book they probably shouldn't have, so the mild-mannered party goes off to get some information out of him and deprive him of it. You won't believe what happens next. Or at least we don't.
- 5: Feeling It For Daddy: Things are becoming clearer. Or at least as clear as they can be when you have 7% Cthulhu Mythos. There will probably be dynamite involved.
- 6: Murder: Is It Worth It to Save the World?: A good old-fashioned Whartson Hall Flounder, taking some dark turns as we realise that whatever happens we're all doomed.
- 7: The Best We Can Do: A mildly unexpected turn into murder, animal abuse and dynamite. Well, all right, the dynamite wasn't unexpected.
- 8: The Elephant in the Room: The triumphant conclusion, in which we all do what we do best.
- 0: Of the Tipperary Zarkovs: Character generation as three grognards look suspiciously at the funny dice
- 1: Extreme Duck Rubbing: It's always tricky waking up after a nice long nap. The gunfire, the jammed doors, the weird dice.
- 2: Totally Tubular Groundhog: A fray, a fray! And we end up feeling fairly frayed, so we seek shelter and find more problems.
- 3: It was spicy, but...: The friendlies (combined with our inexperience) are more dangerous than the enemies. And we find out what Nick has been fantasising about since Twilight 2000.
- 4: Spanner to the Head: On the road again. Barely-competent bandits meet incompetent us. Maybe if we had a gun bunny in the party...
- 5: Hickbillies: Now we have a combat specialist, it'll all be much easier - oh.
- 6: A Well Known Risk of Listening Too Hard: Back into the fray, this time with a little more success.
- 7: Nobody's Going To Eat Anybody: A successful fight, for a change! And moving on, with Subtlety Nouveau.
- 8: This is not CSI Post Apocalypse: Out of the frying pan, into the nuclear fire
- 0: Long-Distance Countryside Bums: Character generation in the dark future of 2020. Which these days looks worryingly optimistic.
- 1: A Trip Up Your Own Well: Final bits of character generation, and we even start the adventure!
- 2: Come Down in the Gutter and Lick My Way of Life: Betrayal, murder, pool. Just another night in the City. Caution, may contain mallard genitalia.
- 3: Lightly Armoured Ball Gown: We try the combat system. HOW much damage?
- 4: A Learning Experience: How hard can it be to hit a guy with a car door? Or indeed to get out of a car? Or defuse a bomb? OK, that one may be quite hard.
- 5: Bringing a Missile to a Knife Fight: Leaving a trail of dead beautiful women like so many blown roses behind him...
- 6: My Clem Fandango is Clepwhackered: The real world is more advanced than the game world, but nonetheless some progress is made. As with so many adventures, it comes down to someone hanging around the docks...
- 7: Crowding Around the Ice Cream Cake: Bleed out on the docks, or set up a party in a luxury hotel? The somewhat murdery conclusion.
- 8: Subterfuge, But In A Murdery Way: A new job sees the team travel to a tropical paradise to pick up a sample of a new medical product. What could go wrong?
- 9: Flip On the Pain Editor: Into the lab with a slightly mad researcher and lots of guns. This can't possibly go wrong. Who's a pretty corporate spy then?
- 10: Personal Grooming Is Not a Pop-Tart: Time for a daring escape! All we need now is a plan.
- 11: Can I Get a Swimming Chip?: Board the ship, take a sample, back home for machine oil and medals. It'll be fine.
- 12: Taking Him As a Role Model: Several heavily-armed nutters are stuck in a bar. Oh, and there are NPCs too.
- 13: Er... I AM a doctor...: Will our heroes survive? Will they be able to live with themselves?
- 13: A Few Sweating Men: At long last, we arrive in England. Oh, is that the time?
- 14: Standard Reference Pharaoh: Investigating the British clues. Why don't we trust a man we haven't even met?
- 15: Rhythmic Pumping from Below: Or, Penetrating Penhew. Well, not the man himself. That would be silly.
- 16: A Hand Up the Greasy Chute: The penetration of Penhew continues, and we meet an unexpected ally.
- 17: A Man-Sized Hole in the Norfolk Fens: We make some plans. They probably aren't good plans. But they will be lots of fun.
- 18: Just About to Go All Sid James: The Blue Pyramid is not quite as we expect. For one thing, it's not on fire even when we leave it.
- 19: When A Man is Tired of Taking Cover in London: We trust nobody. But they do seem to be leading us in dangerous directions, so what-ho.
- 20: Take You Up the Naze: We start to plumb the mysteries of Misr House. For which the most important piece of equipment is a decent-quality fountain pen and an official-looking notebook.
- 21: Covered in Burning Crepe: All goes well. Until it doesn't. Fortunately we have a shotgun.
- 22: And Then Wee on the Jellyfish: Our subtle negotiation fails, so we use unsubtle negotiation. Many people survive.
- 23: A Modicum of Gore: Now all we have to do is clean up the ceremony.
- 24: Bumpkin Spiced Latte: Getting back up to speed with some new investigators, we start to finish up in England. Warning, contains Northern accents.
- 25: Well, They Don't Have Daiquiris: Our business in Derby comes to a conclusion, of sorts.